Yo. Buds. 45 years, since adolesence...I tried being nice & played it cool. Now, you know? My cancer doctor tells me I may have, if lucky a year. There is really nothing they can do now. Ha! That means I am free for at least one year minimum. ( I bet, every year past that too, 50/50 chance, as he states for this one!) Until I croak...Kick that bucket. There is nothing more biologically in medical science the doctors can do 'for' me. #1. Inummerable brain scans. #2. Extensive intensive bone marrow biopsy. Invasive pervasive heart operation and examination, evaluation. Though Chemo at maximum allowed by law; Anemia to 3.5 hemoglobin, a death count; they failed to discover, even with the many chest x-rays, cat scans, MRI's, and Pet scans; one thing malignant....one thing maladaptive, one thing off perfect function, one cell inside me in further question. 1000 days. Wasted. well, so, uh. Guess I could have said (NO????????) good job at the hospital, clinic, pharmacy blood bank. Thanks to the EMBALMER CARE - full protection of alopathic health for all Americans mandated by law. Don't take the antibiotic, etc on down - you face the force of Law. In that 'condition' 1000 days and nights. Solid. And though pretty much basically quarenteened here in this place; I have an outlet through my computer to vent. And I hesitate to inform - whomever- it is quite possible, maybe probable; it won't reflect NICE on some people. And if so, Pox on them all. May they then forever by our Lord's will, Christ's witness, Allah's breath & The Kind Buddah, for the very best of them judged since the Day in 2012...rot in hell. When I turn my thinking to that, my imagination goes wild. The fury inside my brain sets off dynamos of thermonuclear blasts igniting consequent fires from one end of this Universe we inhabit to the other; both in time and space. From large to small - all matter burning so hot one grain of sand today, by comparison contains the total heat of all the stars now in those heavens end to end in it.....and its that star loving light grain multiplied filling everywhere in the Universe for those evil's enjoyment. Oh yes, lest I forget. The mental health problem of mine, seems to be kind of dismissed now. After 15 years with the weekly hypnosis, brainwashing, operant conditioning, behavioral modification; the amnesia, somnambulism, panic, and agonizing pain from 23 years of a steady regular paced process of ostrication and humilation, with nothing to do and no money for anything but basic needs but coffee and cigarettes and petrol (assolene) for 40 years, they did not succeed in "reforming" poor john, me, and the fine therapist of note admitted, "you are too smart for me." I still must take drugs or go to prison indefinitely..and live out the life sentance handed to me because my psyche is more than our "World's System of reality patterns" can handle. So...Oh...Yes. Nice. Decent. Life. I just wish some youngish sexy, experienced in having sex, submissive and seductive girls who like me and I could lock horns once in a while several times most weeks for a few hours after midnite to go to bed and 'sleep with me.' Oh yeah; horny ones too. Fucking eager chicks! All Right. The pretty ones. Nice. Decent. Discreet. Careful with my very sensitive sensabilities, emotions, feelings, and senses. Most sensitive. Verified Empath. Practically confirmed. I am. Didn't know? Oh! Sorry Folk.